Something Wicked
by Project Breakthrough
Summary: The female detectives of SVU have been having an affair for eight months now and Amanda has had enough. Olivia hates herself for doing this to Cassidy but she can't keep herself away from the blonde, even if it threatens her career. Can she decide who she wants to be with? Or will Amanda's heartache continue? Benson/Rollins Femslash [Rolivia]
1. Chapter 1

**Something Wicked**

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**By BlossomingWords & Demetrius Hit Gravity**

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**A/N: Hey everyone! This is our second collaboration; we hope you like it and be sure to check out our other story Sweet Confrontations (Rolivia) if you haven't done so already. Happy reading!**

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"Amanda." Olivia Benson calls out the blonde's name once more. Amanda's head was buried deep into her arms, snoring slightly. The lights of the precinct were all off except for Amanda's desk light. Olivia studied her lover's relaxed face while she slept. It seemed as if all the troubles left her porcelain skin.

"I see you haven't woken sleeping beauty yet." Fin Tutuola chuckled upon re-entering the precinct.

"Amanda." The brunette said a bit louder, this time, shaking Amanda's shoulder. This seemed to wake her.

Amanda Rollins lifted her head quickly. "Jesus Christ, Liv. You know I carry a gun, right?"

"We're in the precinct honey; I doubt you'd shoot _me_ here." Olivia laughed as she helped Amanda to her feet. "Come on let's get you home."

"I'll see you two tomorrow." Fin waved as Liv carried the younger woman's coat to the elevator as the blonde slowly ambled after her.

The door to the elevator opened and the pair stepped in, Olivia looked over to notice Amanda had her head placed delicately upon the mirrored glass.

"Hey Amanda, don't go falling asleep you've gotta get home remember." Benson placed her hand around the younger woman's waist as she pulled her up close, she could feel Amanda's breath graze across her cheek as the two women inched closer to each other. They hit the ground floor and the door opened.

"Come on I'll drive you home." Amanda looked up and nodded her appreciation as she stroked the older woman's hand.

_I wonder if she'll stay tonight. Or will she go back there? Back there with that thing she calls company? _Amanda's heart ached as the brunette helped her into the car.

"You gonna continue not talking to me?" Olivia asked when they got about halfway into Amanda's street. Amanda had barely spoken to her today; the blonde's mind seemed occupied. It was worrying the older woman.

"Sorry, Liv. Thinking about a lot right now." Was Amanda's quiet response.

Olivia pulled her car over in front of Amanda's building. "Anything I can help with?" Amanda shook her head no and unbuckled her seat belt preparing to exit the car. A warm hand planted on the blonde's shoulder made her turn back around. Olivia couldn't believe the amount of sadness in Amanda's blue orbs.

"Olivia—"Rollins was cut short by Olivia's lips pressed against her own. The two's lips danced for a while before Amanda pulled away with a sad smile on her face.

"You still going to ignore me?" Olivia asked a sad smile of her own etched across her face.

"I'm not sure we should do this anymore." Was Amanda's abrupt answer as she quickly exited the car.

"Amanda, wait." Olivia called after her as she followed.

"No Liv, I'm sorry it hurts too much. Every day it hurts more because I know you're going back to _him!_" Amanda replied with a hushed tone as she made it to her apartment and opened the door.

"What Cassidy? I can't leave him you know that!" Olivia regretted her response as soon as it had left her mouth. Eight months the two women had kept their affair a secret and now Amanda had had enough. Now she felt like she deserved more.

It wasn't the sex that kept her with Olivia, it wasn't even the company it was the pure fact that she had fallen in love. The downside was she was in love with someone she couldn't have, not now anyway.

"You're in love with him Olivia; you're not in love with _me_!" Amanda screamed back as tears began to stream down her cheeks. She turned and marched into her apartment, throwing her coat onto her couch.

"I never said that!" Olivia shouted back as she stepped into the room and shut the door behind her.

"You don't have to say it. It's something you show." The younger woman lowered her tone softer. Olivia Benson had broken her heart. Olivia felt too surprised that all of this was coming from Amanda. Blue eyes began fixed on the window as she stood in front of it. The streaks of rain flowing down the glass strangely comforted Amanda.

After giving the Georgian detective some time to compose herself, Olivia walked over and slipped her arms around Amanda's waist. Resting her head on Amanda's shoulder, the older woman let out a sigh.

"I understand you're angry at me. But I promise if you just give me some time to work things out, everything will be alright." Liv said softly into the blonde's ear.

The warm breath trickling down Amanda's neck sent a just as warm unexpected shiver down her spine. She made a small moan when she felt Olivia bit down softly on her pulse point, also unexpected.

"We are still going to talk about this later, Liv." Amanda said quietly.

"I know. And we will." Olivia responded just as quietly.

The blonde detective circled around to face the brunette and the pair locked eyes for a second or two before Amanda's brain made a decision it was certain to regret in the future. She looked down and grabbed for Olivia's hand.

"Amanda -"The older woman was cut short with the blonde's finger being pressed to her lips.

That's when Amanda turned and wandered in the direction of the bedroom, a tear trickled from her eye as she walked but a glowing in her heart prevented her from stopping.

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**A/N: We hope you liked it! So will they be able to keep their affair a secret? Or will Amanda break it off before anyone can find out? Let us know with a review. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Something Wicked**

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**Chapter 2**

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**A/N: Heya! Hope you liked our first chapter! If you haven't already read our other story, please be sure to go and check out Sweet Confrontations on our profile :)**

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**Later On That Week**

Amanda's heart hadn't healed in the slightest. She still didn't even know how she let things with Liv come down to this. How _had_ things ended up like this? She didn't quite know. One minute, Olivia was with Cassidy, supposedly happy, and the next Olivia was in Amanda's bed. Claiming that they keep what had happened a secret. Oh and what a 'secret' it turned out to be. Amanda never imagined herself to be the 'girl on the side', but Olivia held a special place in her heart. But then there was Cassidy. Amanda's blood seemed to boil at the mention of him.

The blonde was pulled out of her thoughts by a wad of paper hitting her square in the forehead. "What the hell, Fin?" Amanda exclaimed.

Fin let out a laugh. "You've been sitting there for almost 20 minutes without speaking to any of us with your eyes staring off into the sunset."

"Okay and?"

"Something you want to share with the class?" Fin wiggled his eyebrows at her.

_Yes._

"No. I'm fine."

"Sure you are." Fin answered as he watched Olivia stroll into the precinct.

"And what time do you call this?" Cragen opened the door to his office and eyed the late detective.

"Sorry Captain, I had to drop Cassidy downtown for some undercover work and got caught in traffic on my way back."

Cragen nodded and closed the door again while Olivia walked over to Amanda's desk and placed a cup of coffee in front of the blonde.

When the younger woman failed to react the brunette eyed her suspiciously, "Hey you okay Amanda?"

"Fine." The response was short and abrupt, much like Olivia's interest in her. Rollins' heart pounded in her chest as she wasn't sure whether she wanted to slap Benson for fooling around with her heart like this. Or alternatively kiss her in front of the whole squad.

The woman's body was tense, her emotions were running high and she definitely didn't want to be there of all places.

Suddenly to the surprise of everyone, Amanda stood up, grabbed and her coat and hightailed out the precinct without a word to anyone. Olivia eyed the blonde's fleeing figure sympathetically before turning back to Fin. Fin noticed something was wrong with Amanda—and he _knew _it had something to do with Olivia. He just wasn't sure what yet.

"I'll go check on her." Olivia hesitantly made her way towards the stairs that led to the roof.

"You left everyone pretty worried back there." Olivia said once she found Amanda on the roof.

"Oh. Well screw them." Amanda spat out angrily. She faced away from Olivia; she didn't want the older woman to see her tears.

"I can tell you're mad at me." Olivia softly replied.

"I-I'm not mad at you. Just…just sick of whatever _this_ is."

"Amanda." Olivia began, not sure of what to say. "This, is whatever you want it to be."

"You have a choice." Amanda turned to face her. "Him, or me." And with that, she left Olivia on the roof alone.

The next few days were tough, what with Amanda avoiding Olivia. Every glance and every stare was dismissed by the blonde. Rollins bought her own coffee to work and she managed to keep her head down.

Olivia was yet to come to her decision, maybe she never would. But Amanda knew deep down that this struggle between them couldn't last forever. Sure she felt some undying attachment to Benson but she was sure she could live without her. Or could she?

"So go on, tell me what's up with you two?" Fin nudged Olivia as he watched Rollins walking out of the precinct with Nick.

"Nothing's up. Why?" Olivia's response was quick, her mind was mixed, and her decision was still in the air. "Oh come on Liv! Everyone's noticed something's up between you and Rollins. So just tell me, what's up?"

"Nothing is up Fin. Difference of opinion nothing more."

The senior detective eyed her suspiciously before turning back to his paperwork. Olivia gave a sigh of relief. She was under enough stress as it was, she really didn't need Fin poking his nose into her business.

Once Amanda had re-entered the precinct with Nick, her eyes accidentally found Olivia's. Olivia gave her the look she had seen hundreds of times, only saying one thing; we need to talk. Amanda was saved from her poker face coming down when Cragen exited his office.

"There is nothing else we can do today. Everyone go home; that's an order." No one had time to object as he quickly bustled back into his office. Olivia's gaze didn't leave Amanda's for a second. Sooner or later Amanda was _going_ to have to talk to her. Angry or not.

Amanda said a brief goodnight to the guys and exited the precinct with Benson hot on her heels.

"Amanda!" Olivia shouted into the cool night air grabbing hold of Amanda's shoulder. "You can't keep avoiding me."

Amanda heaved a heavy sigh. "Who says I can't?"

"I do. I can't stand to know you're angry at me. If you're done with me fine, but I need to know."

Amanda turned around and carried on walking. "I never said that Liv, after all you're the one who has to make the decision."

"And what if I don't choose you? What if I choose Cassidy? Then what are you going to do?" Benson walked briskly after the blonde and kept at her growing pace.

"Then you don't choose _me_. It's not my heart that's being torn from two sides Liv" The younger woman's eyes were fixed ahead of her, she ignored the brunette although her heart was telling her to do the opposite.

"But that's not true." Olivia grabbed for Amanda's hand and the pair stopped, "It's your heart as well. I don't want to hurt you."

"Well you should have thought about that before you jumped into bed with me all those months ago!" Rollins voice was louder, "What you don't seem to get Miss Perfect is that you can't have everything and that good things don't last forever._ We _were a good thing but now I'm not so sure."

Olivia let go of Amanda's hand and let her eyes drop to the floor. She knew her actions were improper yet she just couldn't help herself. The southerner was so tempting and she felt even worse knowing that either her boyfriend or her lover were going to wind up hurt at the end of it all.

Rollins used her hand to lift Benson's chin, their eyes locked and a tear rolled down the brunette's cheek. Amanda lent forward and placed a small kiss on Olivia's lips before whispering "But I want you to know I love you."

As quickly as it had been said Amanda had disappeared, leaving Olivia Benson on the sidewalk contemplating a decision that would change her forever.

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**A/N: So who do you think Benson is going to choose? Or will Rollins break off the relationship before Liv has a chance to decide? Well you'll have to wait till next time to find out :D Oh and we'd love you if you'd leave us a review! Thanks. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Something Wicked**

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**By Demetrius Hit Gravity & BlossomingWords**

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**Chapter 3**

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**A/N: Thanks for all the support you're giving us, we really appreciate it. It seems like everyone hates Cassidy at the moment haha! If you haven't done so already please check out our other story Sweet Confrontations (Rolivia). Happy Reading!**

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Olivia was in the midst of watching TV in her living room, sadly alone. She took another drown of her beer right as she heard the lock in her and Brian's apartment door jiggle. Usually, he wasn't home until long after midnight.

For some strange reason, she wished it wasn't Brian. She would've much preferred for it to be anyone else. It only made her decision over Brian or Amanda even worse. What would happen if she had suddenly broken up with Cassidy and started dating Amanda, surely it would only rain back down on Rollins, and possibly her. She couldn't do that, it would hurt too much. But she didn't want to stay with Cassidy. She definitely couldn't do that either.

"Hey, Liv." He leaned down over the back of the couch and kissed her cheek.

Olivia forced a smile. "Hey. I see Tucker let you off your leash?"

Cassidy laughed. "Yeah. He's moving up in the ranks. Fewer hours. So I guess that's a good thing—"

As if the gods themselves had answered Olivia's prayers to get away, her cell phone buzzed. It was a message from Amanda. Her phone was visible on the coffee table. She grabbed her phone quickly in the hopes that Brian didn't see the message.

_'I need to see you. Are you free?'_

Olivia smiled once she'd read the text, this could only mean something good. One she got to get away from Brian and two she got to see Amanda.

"What are you smiling about?" Brian looked over at her while grabbing a beer from the refrigerator.

Olivia twirled around, "Oh um, I wasn't. I've got to go, it was Cragen we've got another case." She jumped up from the couch and grabbed her coat.

"I can drive you Liv." Cassidy reached out for his car keys but Benson placed her hand over his.

"It's fine Brian I can drive myself. Stay here have a few beers, enjoy your night off. Tucker isn't always so nice remember." With that she gave him a small kiss before heading out of the door.

Cassidy remained where he was stood. All he could think about was the fact that Olivia had been acting strangely. His eyes wandered and found his cell phone on the side; he picked it up and started to dial a number.

Olivia rushed down the sidewalk to her car; her only thought was the faster _she_ was, the sooner she got to see Amanda.

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A smile broke on Olivia's face when an apartment door opened to reveal Amanda. The smile increased when she saw Amanda return it. It had been the first time in weeks that Amanda gave the brunette an honest smile. It made Olivia smile on the inside also knowing that Amanda was no longer mad at her. Or at least she thought.

Meanwhile, Cassidy was having quite the interesting conversation with Cragen.

"What do you mean there's no case?" Brian asked the older man through his cell phone.

"Olivia wasn't called out. Even if there had been a case, she isn't on call today." Cragen answered worriedly. "Are you sure she's alright?"

"Yeah. I just don't get why she would lie. She's been acting strange lately."

"I suggest you get to the bottom of this."

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"Why did you have to see me?" Olivia asked Amanda after stepping inside the apartment.

Amanda pushed a piece of hair away from her head before looking back up at Olivia sweetly. The twinkling of her blue eyes made Olivia's heart sore. How was this woman so perfect?

"I wanted to know..." Amanda stepped closer to the brunette, "If you've made your mind up, it's been two weeks."

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but Amanda shook her head and stepped closer again. The older detective soon realised she was now backed up against the door to Rollins' apartment.

"I don't care if you haven't." Rollins pulled off Olivia's coat and started to undo the buttons on the women's shirt. "It would just be nice to know."

Benson looked up at the younger woman and smiled.

"Oh come on at least give me somethin' " Her southern accent made Benson laugh.

"Oh I'll give you something." Olivia smiled throwing her shirt to the floor then reached for Amanda's neck before pulling her into a kiss.

She groaned when she heard Amanda's cell phone ring from the other room.

"I'll be right back." Amanda promised as she pulled away and headed towards her bedroom.

"Rollins." She answered her cell phone all the while keeping an eye on the half-naked brunette in the other room.

"It's me, Cassidy."

A huge lump formed in her throat, but she managed to keep talking. "What can I do for you?"

"Have you noticed something up with Liv? I mean she's be acting kinda strange. I'm just worried about her."

"U-Uh no. I haven't. She's the same old Liv in my opinion."

_Was Brian on to them?_

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**Later…**

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To say things at the precinct had been different was an understatement. Cragen knew Olivia lied to Cassidy, but he wasn't going to interfere. Brian and Olivia would work it out. As far as Amanda was concerned, she and Olivia had done well to keep their 'secret rendezvouses' to a minimum.

"Rollins, Fin, domestic dispute on Park Ave. Guns on the scene, they want two SVU detectives for backup." Cragen ordered that evening.

"I can go Captain," Olivia jumped from her seat, "My paperwork's done and Fin is still busy."

Cragen looked over to see Fin sat at his desk, sheets of paper were strewn all over the place and he looked completely confused.

"Fine, just be careful." Cragen nodded and watched as the two women ran out of the precinct and down to their car.

As they reached the scene they found crowds everywhere, guns shots were going off and from where the detectives stood they could see CSU and Warner huddled around a body on the floor. Olivia ran over to Warner.

"What's happening?"

"We just got here, apparently this girl." Warner pointed to the victim," Was raped by one of those men and her pimp is going crazy. He's fired two full clips and shot one of two perps over there." Amanda ran over to join them.

Another shot went off and the two detectives watched as a young girl, presumably fifteen or so wandered out of a nearby building and into the firing line. The young girl's face widened in surprise as she saw her friends' body and what was presumably her pimp being shot at.

The girl screamed and the two men turned to look at her, guns in hand.

Amanda jumped up instinctively and ran for the girl in the hopes that she could save her in time.

All that could be heard were distant screams from Olivia.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. So what do you think will happen to Amanda? Will Cassidy find out about the affair? And why do you all want Olivia to choose Amanda? We're curious. Thanks for reading, till next time. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Something Wicked**

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**Chapter 4**

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**A/N: We hope you all continue to like the story. Thanks for the amazing support! Keep it up and maybe, just maybe, we'll let the ladies of SVU be happy.**

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To say things were set in slow motion, yet still fast, would be a very accurate description. That's how Olivia felt as she ran over next to Amanda's fallen body on the concrete. She didn't care about bullets whizzing around her to hit the shooter. All she cared about was Amanda.

"Amanda? Amanda, can you hear me?" She asked Amanda, who's eyes were fluttering with sharp breaths. She wanted to scream at Amanda, but decided against it.

Amanda had been hit twice, once in the stomach and another time in the leg. The blood scared Olivia.

After receiving no response from the blonde, Olivia began applying pressure to the stomach wound, for it looked more live threatening.

"Amanda, I swear to God, if you die; I'm kicking your ass."

She pressed down onto the wound, every last bit of energy she had was used to help her blonde lover. The bullets carried on firing, ricocheting off the walls. Olivia heard a man's yelp and looked over to see one of the men falling to the floor, a wound in his shoulder.

"Liv." The voice was faint but the brunette looked down to see Amanda opening her eyes ever so slightly.

"Baby it's okay just stay with me." Benson looked around to see the crowd that had gathered.

"Somebody call an ambulance!" Olivia screamed and used one of her bloody hands to grab for her cellphone and dialed a number.

"Hello? I need a bus quickly there's an officer down. I'm at..." but her voice trailed off as she saw Amanda's eyes close again. "NO! Stay with me Amanda. Honey please." This time Olivia's eyes had filled and tears had begun to stream down her face.

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Olivia Benson does not like the color of blood. She never has, and most certainly never will. Now that she has seen Amanda's bright shade of red pool from her body. Blood now has another bad memory in her mind. Her ears faintly listened to the tick tock of the seconds hand on the ER waiting room clock. It was scary to think that with every second that passed, Amanda could bleed out in surgery. Olivia didn't want to think of Amanda like that. She didn't want to think of _anyone_ like that.

"Family of Amanda Rollins?" Dr. Sato asked as she exited the operating room in bloody blue scrubs.

Cragen, Nick and Fin all held there stances in their chairs. They knew Olivia should hear the news first.

"Please tell me she made it." Olivia wanted to know so desperately, tears threatening to fall again.

"Yes, Miss Rollins did make it. It was touch and go for a moment, but we've managed to put her under a drug-induced coma while she heals." The brunette doctor answered.

"Drug induced coma? When will she wake up?" Olivia said her voice breaking. "We're not quite sure. It could be a day, it could be a month. It all depends on how fast her system responds to the surgery." Dr Sato said.

"Right, thanks Doc." Amaro nodded his head and patted Fin's shoulder. "At least she's alright."

"So what happened Liv? How did she get shot?" Cragen questioned Benson but the brunette just stood there. For an instant she thought she'd lost Amanda and that feeling had nearly wrenched her heart from her chest. The thought of being without Rollins made Olivia feel so utterly alone. Sure she had Cassidy to go home to but Amanda...She made her feel, well she made her feel in ways she never believed.

"Liv!" Cragen shouted again but Olivia ignored his calls as she turned and walked out of the hospital.

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It had been a long day, long for the team but even longer for Olivia. And now she found herself washed up in some dirty old bar. She took a seat and ordered a shot, she didn't care what she was drinking she just wanted to forget. To forget how seemingly rubbish her life was right now. She knew she had to make a decision Amanda or Brian. Either way someone was going to get hurt and her career possibly buried, depending on how she handled the situation anyway.

The senior detective drowned her shot. Was all this worth it? Were a few spots of meaningless sex worth all this heartache and confusion? Was this 'affair' worth Amanda getting hurt? Was Amanda worth her reputation and career? She laughed to herself. Amanda was priceless and worth everything. This realization hit Olivia hard, like a ton of bricks. She knew what she had to do; and she had to do it quick.

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Somehow, Olivia Benson found herself back at her own apartment. She could hear the faint noises of the TV in the background, signaling that Brian was home; which was unusual of course. She let out a heavy sigh and opened the door.

"Hey." Brian said with a smile removing himself from the couch.

"Hey." Olivia plastered a fake smile on her face. This was going to be hard. "We need to talk." The two settled on the couch with the TV on mute.

"What's up, Liv?" Cassidy asked.

"I have something to tell you, something that's been going on for a while."

"I..." The words wouldn't come out, Liv tried to force them but she ended up looking to Cassidy.

"What? Liv?" His eyes were pleading he knew that something was wrong. Olivia felt tears begin to roll down her face and Brian lent into kiss her forehead. But he stopped. "Liv have you been drinking?"

She looked up at him and her tears stopped.

"Liv have you...got a drinking problem?" Brian's facial expression had changed from one of confusion to one of worry.

For a second Olivia didn't know what to do and then she seized the chance.

She nodded. "Yes." Now that wasn't the most beneficial thing to do and she knew it. Her heart was screaming for Amanda but her head was telling her to save her career and save Brian from being hurt.

Brian went to grab for Olivia's hand but she moved away. 'Amanda' she thought and rushed for the door.

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The blonde lay still in the hospital bed, she had been assigned her own private room at the top floor. A brunette grabbed for Amanda's hand.

Olivia lent over the bed from the seat she had been sat in for hours and kissed the blonde on her rosy lips.

"Please wake up Amanda, I need you." Benson started to cry again. "I think I know what to do now." She laughed to herself. "And all it took was for you to get shot. Seems like some cruel sort of irony don't you think? And you'd probably tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself wouldn't you?"

Only silence answered her questions. Then the door opened.

"Liv, I thought I'd find you here." The brunette didn't move, she only clasped Amanda's hand tighter. " Of course you're upset because Rollins got shot, aren't you? It's okay Liv."

Brian's words only helped to anger her more.

"You just don't get it do you Brian! I'm not an alcoholic and I'm not yours!" Benson screamed.

"What are you talking about Liv?" Brian stepped towards Olivia, "If you're not mine then whose are you?"

Olivia cried another tear and faced Brian, "I'm her's." She said as she looked back towards the blonde who lay so peacefully in her bed.

"I'm her's and her's only. I've been her's for a while." Olivia finished.

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**A/N: So, how will the squad react to the ladies secret affair? What will Cassidy do? Leave us a review and let us know.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Something Wicked**

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**Chapter 5**

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**By BlossomingWords & Demetrius Hit Gravity**

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**A/N: Hi everyone, we'd just like to say thanks so much for the support! We love you all and the reviews really help to inspire us. If you think we've missed something you'd love to read don't be afraid to drop us a message. Thanks and happy reading.**

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Cassidy looked back and forth between Amanda and Olivia. The faint beeping of the hospital machines were the only sounds in the room for a few minutes as Olivia held onto Amanda's practically lifeless hand, afraid of what Cassidy might say next.

"S-So you're breaking up with me?" Brian asked shockingly.

Olivia let out a deep sigh. This guy just did not get it. "Yes, Brian. Me and you, we were never meant to be."

"Since when are you _gay_?" Brian put a deep strain on the last word, frustrating Olivia. Receiving a look of absolute evil from the senior detective, Cassidy turned around angrily and left the room.

"Oh baby please wake up I need you." Olivia smiled sadly to herself as she bent down and kissed the blonde's plump lips.  
She turned, picked up her coat and ran out of the room after Cassidy. The detective followed the signs that led to the exit and found him outside heading for his car. The brunette started to run as she called out his name, the tall man spun around. His face seemed red as if he'd been crying.  
"Come to humiliate me some more Liv? Because I think you've done a good enough job of that already!" The man shouted at her. She was taken aback; she never knew he could be so aggressive. But then again he had just found out that his supposed 'serious' girlfriend had been cheating on him.  
"Look Brian it's not what you think. Me and Rollins..." she stopped and rephrased, "Me and Amanda, we work, we work damn well together. I liked you Brian but it doesn't compare. Just please...do me one last favour. Don't tell my squad."

Brian stood there, his face red with anger taking in her words. After a few moments, Olivia watched in awe as his position went back to normal along with his face. A small smile appeared on the man's profile, and Olivia knew this would not be good.

"One condition." Brian announced.

Benson swallowed the lump in her throat. "What?"

* * *

Amanda fidgeted with the hospital tubes connecting into her nose. It was uncomfortable. Her throat was scratchy and the hospital room lights were way too bright for her liking. Her muscles felt like Jell-O, and her stomach and leg were in a lot of pain, but the only thing on her mind was Olivia. She remembered getting shot, however everything afterwards was nothing but blurred images of faces. She wanted to scream.

"Oh, she's awake!" Dr Sato said with a small hint of glee, but Amanda couldn't recognize her voice. "Amanda, can you open your eyes for me?" Elaine Sato received a dry groan in response, so she used her fingers to open Amanda's blue eyes. Groaning at the bright light in her eyes from the doctor's small flashlight, Rollins hoped Olivia was in the room.

"Amanda can you hear me?" Dr Sato called out.  
The blonde blinked a few times and slowly the room came into focus. It was dull and bleak just like any other hospital room.  
"Yes, yes I'm fine." Rollins droned back to the doctor. She attempted to move out of the bed but Elaine had other ideas and placed her back down.  
"I'm afraid you're going to have to stay in bed for a while. We'll need to do a few tests before you can leave."  
Amanda looked over to the chair by her bed; left on the side table next to it was a bunch of flowers and a cell phone. Dr Sato caught her looking.  
"Oh the poor dear must have left her phone!"  
"Her?" The detective echoed.  
"Oh yes, your friend was here earlier. I say earlier she's never left your side! She was always the first in and the last out of here. You're lucky to have such loyal friends."  
Dr Sato began to walk away.  
"Sorry do you know where she is now?" Amanda asked, secretly hoping Liv would be getting a coffee or grabbing some lunch.  
The doctor shook her head, "I'm afraid the last time I saw her was about twenty minutes ago chasing some man down the hallway."  
'Some man' that's got to be Cassidy, Amanda thought.  
Great he was the least of her worries right now. All she wanted was to snuggle up with Liv in her apartment drinking cocoa and watching lame TV shows.

An elderly nurse stepped into the room.

"Dr Sato, we need you in the ER." The elderly woman said.

Elaine nodded to the woman, and then turned back to Amanda. "I'll be back soon. You just rest for now. You may be confused, light-headed slash fatigued. If you have any problems feel free to hit the nurse's button." That was the last of the doctor's words as she walked out the room with a brief smile to Amanda.

The blonde detective rested her head back against the coolness of the pillows. Was Olivia with Cassidy now? Making up with him? Leaving Amanda? Did Olivia not care about her anymore? These were the thoughts crossing Amanda's mind in the emptiness of the hospital room.

The entire heart ache from previous months hit her in a flash. She knew what she had to, and with that, without moving her body much she grabbed her cell phone off the bedside table.

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Olivia didn't bother going back up the hospital room. She could not do it. She knew she was hurting Amanda. Maybe it'd be best just to forget them ever being a 'them'.

'Cassidy, why does he have to be sooo urgh...?' Olivia thought as she jumped into her car and headed to the nearest bar. Whenever she was depressed it just felt better to drink away those thoughts. And now was definitely one of those times. She just reached the bar and the heavens opened, rain began to pore. The brunette stepped out from her car and ran down the street to the bar.

Now drenched the woman entered and asked for a beer. It wasn't the most exciting of drink choices but she couldn't be bothered to drink anything fancy. Not when she felt like this.

Benson could just imagine it now, Amanda waking up and her not being there. Not being there to comfort her, to protect her from the harsh realities of the world. But the conditions Cassidy had made, well they weren't exactly the easiest to face. She just needed time to figure out a way around them and then the best road to Amanda Rollins.

"Liv what are you doing here?" Benson looked up from her drink to see Raphael Barba standing next to her. She couldn't tell him what had happened but she knew he wouldn't let her leave until she'd told him what was up.

"Oh hi Barba. Sorry I was just finishing up here I've got to go sorry," She apologized again and then ran for the door and out into the rain. The ADA watched her leave, shaking his head at her outright rudeness.

* * *

_3 Hours Later_

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Olivia lay face down on her bed, she'd drunk five beers and it was now the early hours of the morning. Drinking on an empty stomach and had made her feel sick and the thought that she'd left her 'girlfriend' in the hospital alone made her feel even worse.

Then her doorbell went and the woman tried to lift herself off of the bed but fell and landed on her back. "Urgh." The noise she made wasn't the most feminine. Stumbling she finally made her way to the door, she checked herself in the mirror before she answered. And that was not a pretty sight, her hair was going in every which direction and her eye make-up was smudged down her face from where she'd been crying.

She opened the door regardless. What she came face to face with knocked the wind out of her. The senior detective struggled for breath. Was it her drinking that had compromised her eyesight? Or was she just going crazy?

Before her stood the frail form of Detective Amanda Rollins, the blonde was hunched to one side on crutches. The younger woman looked up "Alright darlin'?" She winked.

"A-A-Amanda. You shouldn't be here. Why did Dr Sato let you out the hospital?" Olivia stuttered. She did not expect this. The sight of her old lover made her head hurt with confusion.

"Do you not want me here? 'Cause I'll leave if that's what _you_ want." Amanda said with genuine concern on her face. She had never seen Olivia so…depressed.

Benson stood there. The brunette knew she would have to explain everything to her.

"No, please. Come in."

Amanda blinked. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

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**A/N: So what did you think? What's the condition Cassidy made Benson promise to keep? And will Amanda and Olivia be able to pick up where they left off? Let us know with a review! Thanks for reading. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Something Wicked**

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**Chapter 6**

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**By Vendredii & Blossoming Words**

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**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews everyone! We hope you like the new chapter!**

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"So, how did you persuade Elaine to let you out of hospital?" Olivia asked after closing the door and looking at her estranged lover.

Amanda chuckled, thinking about it. "Turns out she has a thing for dogs. Frannie always seems to be the better thing out of me." Olivia studied her partner's figure. Amanda looked deeply tired, but still had this glow, the same glow Olivia had been attracted to for months.

"Liv, are you okay?" Rollins asked as she stood there in Olivia's kitchen.

"No. I-I'm just trying to figure out how to savour this." The senior detective answered.

"Why would you need to savour this?" But her question trailed off as Amanda began to put pieces together for herself.

"Did you make up with Brian? I knew I shouldn't have come here." She said quickly. The worst began to form in her head. The tears threatened to fall. She hated how Benson had this control over her.

"No, Amanda. I did this to protect you."

"Protect me? Wait what exactly happened while I was in the hospital?" Amanda questioned. Olivia walked further into the apartment; this was going to be hard. Not only was she extremely tired, she was also very intoxicated.

"Brian, he was wondering what was wrong with me. One thing led to another and I told him about us. He stormed out. He gave me one condition." Olivia turned away as she spoke. "I did this to save you Amanda; I did this to save _us!_"

"What did you do? Why couldn't you just leave him and be with me?" Amanda began to cry.

"I asked him not to tell the squad and he said...he said he'd let us be together if I kept sleeping with him." Benson could feel those cold eyes on her, boring into her as the words sunk in. She was ashamed of herself, how could she ever have fallen for someone so manipulative. It made her feel sick.

"You're kidding?" Amanda retorted. "I don't care if the squad knows Liv. I want to be with you. I want a life together." The blonde's voice rose as she walked up to Olivia and grabbed for her hands. "I'll quit. Then we can be together. No one will ask a thing."

"Of course they'll ask!" The brunette cried. "I'm so sorry Amanda."

"I know Liv. I don't know what to do." But this was a lie. Amanda knew exactly what she was going to do the next morning, she had a plan. A plan she wasn't going to tell Olivia about.

Amanda looked around her and saw the beer bottles scattered on the floor.

"You've been drinking?" She shook her head. "Just go to bed Liv, we can sort this out in the morning." The blonde said as she pulled Olivia's phone from her pocket and placed it on the kitchen counter.

Olivia hadn't even realised she'd left the damn thing in the hospital but she smiled, realising Amanda's kindness.

"Stay with me?" The older woman pleaded but Rollins turned her head away and walked for the door.

"I can't Liv, I need to sort my head out and I have things to do." The woman opened the door and limped out of the apartment. Leaving Olivia Benson drunk, alone and desperate. Everything in her life had gone to ruin within 48 hours. How could this be real?

On the other side of the apartment door Amanda Rollins was stood, lent against the cold wood. Her eyes had filled with tears again and they began to stream down her face as she sobbed into the arm of her jacket. A wave of emotions had come crashing into her simultaneously and she felt utterly dismantled.

* * *

"Rollins, you better have a damn good explanation as to why you're here after I strictly put you on leave until you heal." Cragen said to his youngest detective as she walked in on crutches.

Amanda did a scope of the precinct. Liv must have called in sick, because she wasn't at her desk.

"Yes I do. May we speak in private?" Amanda felt her partner's eyes on her, but she kept her eyes on the trees and followed Cragen into his office.

"Is everything okay Amanda?" The blonde had never seen the captain so concerned and worried. Before she knew it, she broke down and told him everything, starting with the first day the whole affair started. Cragen had his questions, but allowed her to tell the whole story before he made any assumptions. Amanda left out the details she knew Cragen wouldn't like. For example Brian's conditions.

"But I assure you, it is over." She finished.

Don sighed. "As relieved as I am to hear that, IAB cannot find out about any of this. It's a conflict of interest."

Amanda nodded. "Are we good here?"

"For now."

Amanda began to walk toward the door.  
"Actually Rollins. One more question." Cragen said.  
She turned towards him. "Anything Captain."  
"It's definitely finished between you and Liv? Because if IAB get any whiff of this...you know how bad it can get. Especially if you can't work together properly." Amanda looked at the elderly man.

"It is Captain." She nodded and walked out of the door. She felt awful, she had just lied to Cragen's face. She had no idea if her and Liv were over, she just wanted him to think it, and so she had time to think up a better plan.

She had secretly hoped Cragen would be fine with the whole thing and Olivia and herself could date openly. But life had never been that nice to her and she knew it wasn't going to start now. Rollins had to get down and dirty to get what she wanted.

Amanda closed the door to Cragen's office when her phone suddenly began to ring. It was Nate; she rolled her eyes and picked up. As she did so she happened to look up and see Fin and Amaro staring at her, she smiled meekly to them both before using her crutches to hobble towards the exit.

"Yeah like I said, I need your help with something..." Amanda started but her words trailed off as the perfect figure of Detective Benson walked into the precinct. Olivia stopped in her tracks, her eyes looked tired and her clothes were all creased, she held a coffee in one hand.

The door to Cragen's office opened.

"Sorry I'm late Captain had a hold up." Benson apologised and walked straight past Amanda without so much as an acknowledgment. She felt hurt that Amanda hadn't stayed the night previous and couldn't face those feelings inside of her. Rollins shook her head and walked out of the room.

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A few weeks later, and Amanda was without her crutches. Although her physical wounds were healed, her emotional ones were yet to even stop hurting. She hated it, but she avoided Olivia for as much as she could. Facing her wasn't something she wanted to do, especially since it was clear Olivia didn't care enough to come forth with their relationship. Reluctantly, Cragen allowed Amanda on desk duty until she was truly and fully healed. That included physical therapy at the hospital to make sure she was able to move properly. Now, in present time, Amanda was dreading getting out of bed.

Today was not one of her best days, and she even considered calling in sick. She quickly stopped as she remembered what was supposed to be happening to. Today, the squad would be attending a ceremony at One Police Plaza. Amanda did not want to go, but this would be her chance to truly show Cragen her and Olivia were over, and better yet, show Brian that the two were never serious.

"Nate, yeah it's me. Are you free today?"

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**A/N: OOOOhhh! So Nate is back in the picture and Olivia can't be in the same room as Rollins because of guilt? What do you guys think of the whole situation? Let us know in a review. Thanks! **


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